booksaremyrealities

in order to really enjoy any story, you need to get the ending out of the way as soon as possible

i don’t think i deserve to be greeted

on May 14, 2012

yesterday was mother’s day and it was a regular day that was made extra special but i feel that deep within i do not think i deserve the greetings at all.

they said mothers sacrifice everything for their children, have this very long patience and understand for their children…but i feel like i lack in that department. i cannot even sacrifice my work for them, i have to work full time and sacrifice my time for them! that is the opposite right? i should be with them right? but then i have to work for them too thus sacrificing my time for them and have to leave them with someone to look after them… which is confusing honestly.

anyways as for patience and understanding, i even do not think i have that much as well. there are times when i know i am a monster mom, everytime i come home things are all a mess at home, toys clattered, papers scattered, the beds a mess, no food…and i have to fix all those, see they get a bath, they are clean, they have food, they drink their milk, medicines and all what they need and i end up all grumpy and stressed out which i should not be right? i mean since it is for them, i need to be happy right? but i am human right? is that even enough reason to ask for a mommy time too? oh well..so i really do not think i should be greeted a happy mother’s day as there are times i feel selfish, there are times i feel like i am not a mom at all, there are times i feel like a whole crap and get it out on them which i am feeling quite guilty as they greeted me and made me feel like the greatest mom in this world.

But then i know somehow, i made something right as i know my kids are the smartest and most independent. They are witty and smart and are loving children… and somehow i know deep within i did something right. Somehow i am not the crappiest monster mom in this world and maybe somehow i deserve that greeting…

as for yesterday it was not that super special but it was worth it, i laughed with them, i spent my time with them…and hubby did most of the part of making me happy too…

we took the kids out, went to the shrine and light some candles as thanksgiving and ate dinner together…

this was at the restaurant while waiting for the food

this was at the shrine and that is my lil boy fooling around, so simple he enjoyed watching the fountain and the doves..

my little lady

my lil boy fell asleep when we arrived at the restaurant…

my kids, my life 🙂

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2 responses to “i don’t think i deserve to be greeted

  1. socates says:

    tamang senti ang madir 😀

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